I really feel as if blue is not a good enough colour to describe my condition,
I have such a self hatred.
I really cannot make it the way I wanted to.
lonelier day by day.
i hate looking in the mirror today.
i see something ugly and disgraceful staring right back.
i want it to disappear.
retract my thoughts, retract my dreams, they have no point in this place i call home.
my heart isn't at home.
i can't find my heart.
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